Epiphany
by Lost in Day Dreams
Summary: On a day like any other, Cosmo finally realizes why he has been hurting Wanda. Typical story, I know! But I tried to put my own spin on it! Oneshot!


Hi there! I've been sort of a phantom reader of all these stories here in the Fairly Oddoparents section, but I never reviewed because I kind of felt like an outsider. So now I have decided to throw myself into the mix by writing up an idea that struck me while watching an episode earlier today! I hope it lives up to you alls standards, but I doubt it will seeing as how talented and brilliant all the other regular writers are. But one can hope! Anyway! Uhhh….enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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"Weeeee," Cosmo exclaimed as we swam swiftly around the fishbowl, watching a floating piece of string that was attached to his fish tail follow his every move. Across the room, his wife and godchild were busy scrutinizing over Timmy's homework, Timmy trying to get through it as fast as he could and Wanda attempting to slow him down and make him understand the material.

Cosmo yawned with boredom just watching them, wishing they had gone with his idea of playing the "not study" game instead. Timmy was all for it, of course, but Wanda had insisted that Timmy complete his homework before Crocker gave him yet another Super F, one which Timmy could not afford with his exceptionally low grade point average. Cosmo put up a strong fight at first, but as soon as his wife poofed him into fish form and tied a piece of string to his tail, all thoughts of the "not study" game were abandoned and his attention was consumed for hours by the nonsensical item. As a result, Timmy had no choice but to comply with his godmother and attempt to understand his ridiculous amount of math homework.

But as the hour passed, the dancing movements of the string as he swam no longer enthralled Cosmo and his attention began to wander, as it usually did, to other parts of the room. After scanning for something shiny or in motion across his godchild's bedroom, his eyes finally came to rest on his godchild himself.

_Wow, I've never seen Timmy think that hard, _Cosmo thought in amazement as he watched the boy analyze the problem he just completed.

"Is this right," Cosmo heard Timmy ask his wife, who in turn gave him a gentle smile.

"Well…not exactly," she replied slowly, trying her best not to upset him, but it was to no avail. Timmy growled in frustration and clutched his pencil so hard in the process that he snapped it in two. Wanda patiently poofed him up another pencil and patted him reassuringly on the back.

"Oh sweetie, don't get to upset. You just need to practice. Here, let me show you a problem and then you can try another one by yourself." She poofed up another pencil and a piece of paper for herself and busily began working out a math problem similar to Timmy's. Timmy, meanwhile, watched intently over her shoulder, trying his best to study the steps she used.

Cosmo smiled to himself, warmed by the love and patience his wife showed their godchild. He watched with fondness as she finished her problem and looked over Timmy's shoulder to monitor his progress. Soon, he held up the paper and showed her his accomplishment proudly. Wanda beamed in response.

"Great job, sport," she exclaimed, sounding pleased with him. "Now see if you can do the next one by yourself." Proud that he was able to please his godmother, Timmy focused his short attention span on the task at hand while Wanda looked upon him tenderly.

Cosmo noticed his wife's eyes divert towards his direction and he smiled at her, trying to convey the love and tenderness he felt for her after the touching scene. But when he was met with a scowl in response, his smile quickly faded away and was replaced with a look of confusion.

_Oh, right, _he suddenly remembered. _We had a fight._ Throughout the course of the day, Cosmo had slowly begun to forget the spat he and his wife had had that morning, resulting from a slip of the tongue on his part. He had called her some name or another, he couldn't recall which one at the moment, but it had resulted in her giving him the silent treatment for the remainder of the day, which he hadn't been reminded of until that moment.

Cosmo began swimming idly around again, although this time he wasn't fascinated by the sight of the string mimicking his motions. Instead his mind was busy sifting through ideas on how to apologize to her.

_What's it going to be this time, _he wondered. _Candy? No, I used that last time. Flowers? No, I used that the time before._

Cosmo sighed in frustration as he began to feel a headache develop as a result of too much thinking. Why did it have to be the same thing every time they fought? Why couldn't they just skip the whole thing and go right to the making up, the part that Cosmo liked the best?

_Maybe if you weren't such an idiot and didn't say such stupid, hurtful things all the time, _he heard a tiny, barely audible voice pipe in deep from the recesses of his mind. Cosmo jumped slightly in response, surprised by the arrival of the part of him that was rarely heard: his logical side. That voice usually didn't make an appearance unless vitally necessary. He assumed that it was one of those times.

Most of the time Cosmo feared that voice, worried that it would consume him and take away the carefree, fun-loving part of him that he was so comfortable with, so he opted to divert his attention to other things like his nickels. But this time was different. This time, something inside of Cosmo was telling him he needed to listen. So, he girded his loins and prepared himself to get lost in his rarely used and barely present logic.

Why did he say such hurtful things to Wanda? That question had plagued him for years now. He loved her! He loved her ever since the moment he laid eyes on her in that diner when he worked as a pimple-faced waiter and dumped food all over her, and his love only increased from then. He loved her so much that it scared him sometimes, and when he laid awake at night just thinking about the amount of love that was in him, it actually began to hurt. So why in the world would he begin to be so mean to her all of a sudden?

Cosmo took a moment to gaze upon his wife, hoping that the sight of her would spark some sort of clue. At the moment, she was busy patiently encouraging Timmy into finishing the rest of his homework, which, with her help, he was actually beginning to understand.

Oh, did he love her so. She was so perfect in every way. She was smart, patient, kind, loving, and one of the most beautiful faeries he had ever laid eyes on. Wanda truly was one in a million.

So why did Cosmo tell her everything but what he really thought about her? A barrage of insults that he had bestowed upon her came flooding back to him as he attempted to answer that question. Fat, boring, dowdy, nagging, demanding…Wanda was none of those things and he knew it! So why would he tell her she was?

"I blame you."

"Please be a Wanda eater!"

"I was screaming because I just realized when I got married, I said 'til death do us part, and since I'm immortal, that's forever!"

"You've gained weight."

"But that place is only for the _beautiful_ faeries!"

Memory upon memory of hurtful things he had said, either to Wanda or about her, filled his brain, causing his heart to ache tremendously in the process. He groaned inwardly as he recalled how he even got his own godchild to say cruel things to her and think it was acceptable. How on earth could he have done that and still be by her side to this day?

But as if the words weren't bad enough, a whole separate barrage of hurtful actions surfaced as well. The time he bet her for a nickel, the time he forced her to dress up as a secretary and referred to her as "dowdy" for the rest of the night, the other women he shamelessly drooled over right in front of her, he was sure there were more. And every time she had either overlooked them or forgave him quickly. But why? Cosmo knew he surely didn't deserve it.

Cosmo's swim became more urgent as he racked his brain to try to come up with an answer. Why would she put up with such abuse every day of her life just for the likes of him?

_Because she loves you, you dolt,_ he heard his "logical" voice cry out from deep within him. Cosmo frowned deeper. Of course he knew Wanda loved him, she had told him time and time again that she loved him more than anything or anyone else, but he just couldn't understand it. He knew he was far from being the most handsome fairy in the universe, and even farther from being the smartest, and yet she loved him all the same. Sometimes he wished it wasn't true, that she didn't love him as much as she did, so she would be free to go find a fairy that actually deserved her love. Someone that would actually appreciate it.

_Like Juandissimo, _Cosmo thought with gritted teeth. Though it made his blood boil to think about it, the egotistical muscular fairy really did love Wanda, just as much as he loved himself, Cosmo could see it in his eyes every time Juandissimo looked at her. It would kill Cosmo to see her in the arms of "muscles magoo" again, just as it almost did when they were a couple, but he knew that the magoo would take good care of her and not take her for granted as Cosmo so foolishly did time and time again.

Cosmo sighed as his swim returned to its normal steady pace. Maybe things would be better if he just let her leave, not for him of course, but certainly better for Wanda. She wouldn't have to put up with the constant abuse he threw at her. If only he didn't love her with all his heart, then it would be easier to let her leave.

_Would she really leave, _he wondered as he stopped swimming for a second to examine her again. _If I let her, would she really leave?_

An intense, overwhelming fear began to consume Cosmo as he got a mental picture of Wanda packing her things and fleeing to the waiting arms of her ex-boyfriend, or perhaps to any other male fairy that would gladly take her in a minute. Suddenly, something within him seemed to click somehow.

_I think I just had an epiphany, _he thought to himself as a tiny light bulb went off above his head. _Wow, I didn't know I knew that word!_ Cosmo quickly shook his head of that thought and tried to focus back on his knew discovery.

That fear…that nagging, aching, overwhelming fear that plagued Cosmo since the day he had married Wanda but hid deep within him finally made its way to the surface. That was the key! He was afraid of losing Wanda so much that he actually began to push her away to convince himself that he didn't need her as much as he knew he did.

_Wow, I've never thought that much or that fast in my life, _he exclaimed in his head. _So that must be it!_ That must by why he was doing and saying such hurtful things. There was just no other explanation.

Cosmo smacked himself mentally as he reflected on his new theory, coming to terms with just how stupid it actually was. He was _hurting _her to keep from getting hurt himself. He was trying to save himself from the pain of losing her by nearly driving her to the point of leaving, something he never would have had to worry about if he had just stayed his old, sweet self, someone that he hadn't been in years. How incredibly selfish and stupid could he get?

_Well, no more, _Cosmo vowed to himself as he began to make swift, determined laps around the castle. He didn't want to hurt Wanda anymore. He didn't want to be the person who put those looks of pain that he so often saw flash before her eyes when he insulted her (right before the scary anger came). He wanted to be that Cosmo he was before. The stupid yet loveable one who would look after her and call her sweet things like "sugar" or "pudding"; the Cosmo who would tell her how beautiful she looked every day and would say he loved her before they fell asleep in each others arms at night. He wanted to be the Cosmo he is in those rare moments when he defends her from danger or from men who gave her the kind of attention that only he was allowed to give her. He wanted to be that Cosmo who spontaneously said that one time after the Fairy Idol fiasco that everyday with her was magical. _That_ was the Cosmo he aspired to be and _that _was the Cosmo he was going to try to be from then on, even if it killed him.

Later that night, after the homework was done and Timmy was in bed, Cosmo and Wanda poofed into their castle and prepared themselves for bed as well. Wanda poofed herself into her nightgown and prepared her side of the bed in stern silence as Cosmo looked at her with his usual look of pity and remorse. But this time, things were different. This time, Cosmo was not just looking for a quick fix. He wanted the real thing.

"Wanda," he called gently to her as she pulled back the covers and was about to hop into bed.

"What," she responded in an annoyed tone. Cosmo winced at the anger she held in her eyes as she looked up at him, but he continued.

"I wanted to say I was sorry," he said quickly, searching for some sign of softening on her part before he went on. To his immense relief, her look did soften a little.

"You really hurt me when you said those mean things this morning, Cosmo," she replied in a tired voice that nearly broke his heart. He swallowed hard before going on.

"I know, Wanda. I know I did. But I think I finally know why I said those mean things…and all the other things I said or did to hurt you," he told her quickly.

"Because I really am a fat, old, nag," she finished for him, figuring that was where he was heading, but Cosmo shook his head vigorously in protest.

"No, no, Wanda! Please don't think that," he practically pleaded with her, tears welling up in his eyes. "You're not any of those things! You're beautiful and smart and caring and fun to be with! Everything I've ever wanted in a wife and best friend!" Wanda smiled tenderly at him.

"Oh Cosmo," she began to say, but Cosmo quickly cut her off. It was too early for her to forgive him yet.

"I was just…just…" words seemed to fail him as he tried to explain what had been so clear in his mind a few hours ago. "I was just so afraid of losing you, because you're so much more than I deserve, that I wanted to feel like I didn't need you. I wanted to push you away. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

_How could she, _he thought in frustration, I _don't even understand what I'm saying._ Cosmo sighed angrily and was about to attempt to explain again, when Wanda smiled reassuringly at him.

"I think I do, Cosmo," she replied, her eyes brimming with tears as well. "And I love you too." Cosmo smiled at her and poofed himself to where he was floating right in front of her.

"But I don't want to do that anymore, Wanda. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Even if I do end up losing you."

"Oh Cosmo, you could never lose me."

"But I hurt you so much! Why wouldn't you leave me?"

"Because sweetie," she said soothingly as he took his both hands in hers, "I love you too much to let times like these stand in the way of being with you. Don't you know I couldn't live without you?"

"You couldn't live without me," Cosmo asked incredulously. "I thought I was the one who couldn't live without you!"

"Well, I guess we're stuck with each other than," Wanda said with a smile. Cosmo smiled that big, goofy smile at the prospect, which caused her to giggle in delight.

"And there's no one I'd rather be stuck with," she added as she gave his hands a gentle squeeze. Cosmo pulled her into a tight embrace and held her.

"I love you so much, Wanda. So much it scares me," he confided to her. He felt wet tears drip onto his shoulder as he held his wife in his arms.

"I love you too, Cosmo," she replied, her voice full of emotion. "More than you'll ever know." The couple parted only long enough to give each other a deep, loving kiss. Afterwards they headed to bed, wrapped up tightly in each other's arms.

Sleep came easy for Wanda. Cosmo could feel her breath even out only a few minutes after she laid down, but he wanted to revel in the moment a few moments longer before he let slumber overpower him as well. He sighed contently as he breathed in the scent of his wife's soft, pink hair, extremely happy at the events that had unfolded that day. He didn't know what the future would hold for him and Wanda, and he wasn't one hundred percent sure he wouldn't falter from his promise (though he would try his very, very hardest not to), but he knew that Wanda loved him as much as he loved her (which was saying a lot) and that was all he needed for the rest of his life.

THE END

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Well, that's it! I hope it lived up to the standards of all you Fairly Oddparents fans! If not…well…there's really nothing more I can do except apologize…which I hope I won't have to do! Anyway, hope you all enjoyed it and reviews are greatly appreciated! See ya!


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